Empathy

"I learned to give not because I have plenty but because I know the feeling of having  nothing." This beautiful text message aptly describes my insight for the week --- empathy or the lack  thereof in a competitive world where survival of the fittest is the name of the game.   Wikipedia defines empathy as the capacity to recognize and, to some extent, share feelings that are being experienced by another.

The past week was difficult and emotionally-challenging. Watchful, nosy eyes were on me, waiting for any sign of confirmation about my predicted failure. I refused to confront the truth about the news knowing that my reactions would easily give me away.  I did not  see the need or urgency to share something confidential,  (certainly not with a group of curious gossip mongerers). I wouldn't allow disappointment to cast any more pain to my wounded ego.

As if the anxiety of my impending downfall (not to mention a dim future) weren’t hard enough to bear, the betrayal of friends whom I once trusted and treated as family left me with a heavy heart and a damaged self-esteem. Concealing my real emotions from the rumor-hungry predators didn’t make things  easier either.

A careless remark hit me hard as I learned I was being ridiculed for my attempts to keep my PERSONAL information private. For the nth time, talk about my failure were being circulated.....

During one of those weak private moments,  I reflected on the crab mentality prevailing  in the insensitive people around me. I could not believe how cruel and mean my colleagues could be so as to carelessly trample down on someone so downtrodden. How could they rejoice in the misfortune and misery of another?

The wisdom behind the existence of life’s polarities suddenly dawn on me. How can one appreciate the good if one has not experienced the bad? How can one rise up if one has not fallen down in the first place? How can I feel for others' frustrations and disappointments if I have not gone through similar experiences/feelings myself?       

I also realized that developing sensitivity and empathy takes a lot of maturity for it is in dying to one’s self that we are able to prioritize others' needs before our own.

Human and weak as I am, how I wish I wouldn't have to go through hurtful experiences again (if only that’s possible!) .… But if these same trials would develop the strength of character necessary to face some more challenges, then how can you say no to that?

My First Cyber Exploration

Sincerity in blogging (i.e.,  the willingness to commit time and effort in sharing something online without necessarily expecting something monetary in return) is one of the many insights I gathered  from the first session of the On-line Writing workshop I attended. 


I started this new venture armed with the sincerity and openness to express ( and hopefully exchange!) ideas, emotions, insights and anything under the "clouds." This is my first time EVER to post and publish something online (except for comments in facebook)  not only as a venue for sharing life experiences and reflections but as a possible way of polishing my writing skills. 

Now, why choose the name Wandering Clouds? Hmmm, let me count the "whys" ....

Whenever I get the chance to travel by plane,  I would always prefer to sit by the window so I can see the clouds at close range. It makes me smile to imagine that heaven (and possibly God!) is seemingly a few inches away from me. Most of the insights I get are influenced by my spiritual beliefs, some of which I will be sharing in this blog.

I remember collecting stickers and pictures of my favorite Sanrio characters, Little Twin Stars when I was a child.  The cute  twins were usually seen lying or riding soft, fluffy clouds showing a sense of comfort and pleasure.  With this blog, I hope to share the same positive feelings out of my posts.

As I go through adulthood, I became more aware of the varied roles I play as a daughter, sister, friend and colleague. These can be likened to the many shapes clouds virtually form into.

Now that I 'm going through the early stages of midlife, I've become more sensitive to my emotions which dictate my moods.  Just like clouds, my days can either be dark or sunny. 

I believe that it is in sharing life lessons that growth and maturity is achieved. Would you like to wander with me?